The eliminated contestants

During the many months I thought about starting a blog, I took pictures of and took notes on everything I made, thinking I could use them to slam out recipe posts one after the other. My plan was to load up an arsenal so that I could become some kind of blogging/cooking machine. A triumphant warlord of the internet, type of thing. I also reasoned that the more of a backlog I built, the less stressed the future blog could potentially make me. It was a good plan. I smiled benevolently on my carefully planned life trajectory.

Then I encountered a hitch in the plan, and grimaced horribly: the recipes weren’t good enough. They were certainly acceptable for a weeknight dinner, but I had no plans to make any of them again. Except for maybe the peppercorn thingy, but I’m still thinking about that one.

Let’s be honest: the internet is already swamped with cookery information, and I did not want to add any second-rate recipes to the ranks. Who wants a so-so recipe when they have millions of choices at the click of a mouse? The mere thought that I could be the culprit of someone’s mediocre dining experience practically put me into a rabid fit (frothing at the mouth, frothing at the eyes, biting innocent people and whatnot). 

Measures needed to be taken fast, so I did the only thing I could, and I dropped ‘em like a hot potater. “Chalk it up to experience,” I said to myself, “takes one to know one. Don’t take no wooden nickels. Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” With these words of wisdom, I knew: it was all going to be OK.

Here is a little collage of the meals that were violently severed from the line-up. Sorry girls–you were beautiful, but not tasty enough. Now wave politely, and say your goodbyes:


Onion/Tomato/Egg Fried Rice: “I’d just like to thank everyone for letting me appear briefly on this blog, and if you allow me one more chance to prove myself …”

I don’t think so, Onion/Tomato/Egg Fried Rice, since our relationship was just one big letdown. It’s best if we both move on and pursue our separate dreams.

Goodbye braised lamb . . . goodbye Mexican rice . . . goodbye peanuty beef and basil thingy . . . goodbye strawberry clafoutis . . . I wish you all well, and I bear you no hard feelings . . .

As the recipes file out for their last hurrah, I’d like to announce that tomorrow I will be posting the one old favorite that I adore so much I make it about once a week. It’s a stand in for desperate times when the refrigerator is empty, or when the thought of chopping and frying and braising makes me want to go hibernate for a month. In other words, it’s not actually a real recipe. Hence its continued success in my life. Will you love it? Will you hate it? Weigh in tomorrow with your feedback. I embrace all comments as equal–it’s part of my loving nature. But if you hate it–break it to me gently, OK?

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4 Responses to The eliminated contestants

  1. nadia says:

    Aww, I feel sad for them. But then I’m glad that you gave me the chance to be seen (and heard) on the blog, albeit briefly.

    LOL @ the Failed Recipe Parade :D

  2. Jen says:

    oooh! I can’t wait to see what’s coming tomorrow! And right before the weekend, so I can out and get whatever I need to make whatever this adored recipe may be.

    • Jenna says:

      Jen, thought you should know I requested “The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie” … my library usually takes multiple weeks to bring in hold requests, but I’m really looking forward to it. =)

  3. Jamie says:

    this is hilarious!

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